dare to imagine a different life

DSCF0909After almost a decade of trying to make joint decisions, which usually resulted in a crap load of compromise, I was like a lab rat. The one who got let out of its cage, only to run around in a circle, using the same area that his jail allowed for all those years. I was trying to recreate, what I considered to be a “normal life”, using the same ideas and beliefs that applied to my ex-married life. Until finally I thought…”WTF?!?!?”

So I decided to embark on a new adventure! To find my “True Purpose”.

I realized that part of the beauty of being on my own again was that I had no one but myself to please. I could do anything and be anything I wanted. For the first time in a long time, I had no one else’s feelings to consider…just mine and mine alone. One could argue that this is a very egocentric way of looking at it. However the reality is that if we don’t take the time to identify with who we truly are and what we want as an individual, we can never have any healthy relationships with anyone!!!

So I have decided to give it some long and thorough thought…to take a good hard look at myself and my life, and identify with my true purpose. Not my career or where I live, but my core purpose that will inspire and move me through life in the direction that is right for me, and enable me to make the decisions that will keep me moving in that direction.

How do I get there? I will start by being grateful for all that life has given me up until this point, both what I consider to be good and bad (yeah you heard me… we even have something to gain from what we consider to be the “bad” events in our life). Then I will ask myself the following questions:

  1. If I only had 6 months to live and was perfectly healthy, what would I do with that time?
  2. If I won the lottery tomorrow, what would I do?
  3. If I knew that I could do anything in life without risk of failure or consequence, what would that be?

These questions do not lead you to a plan or a set of goals for your life, but they do reveal what really makes your heart go “hhhhmmmmm”. Once you know that and are aware of it, then you are better able to make the decisions that are right for you.

What would your answers to the questions be???

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About the writer

So yes, you've guessed it...I am in the process of getting divorced. Now surely I've had many challenges along the way, but I can honestly say that it has truly been the most eye opening experience of my life. Although it's never what you plan or hope for and it can be truly devastating when you realize it's happening, but it can also have a silver lining if you look for it...once you get through the guilt, anger, self-loathing, several pints of Haagen Dazs and a crate or two of wine of course. My divorce not only got me out of a very unhealthy relationship, but it also opened the door for me to reshape my entire life. So after a year of loafing, I am getting my ass off my couch and into gear to transform everything that I know has not been doing me any justice in my life. I went from trying to be the perfect daughter to trying to be the perfect wife, constantly accepting that which was imposed on me and living my life on auto pilot. Well, all that is about to change. 2012 is finally over and the new year is here, and this will be the year that I change my life and make it what I want it to be. This blog will document my experiences and hopefully help other men and women in the same boat to find some sort of inspiration. I would also like to hear from those of you who have some tips, advice or inspiring stories of your own to share. For many of us, just knowing that there are others who have lived to tell their stories with somewhat of a happy ending, is inspiration enough. Happy New Year!!!

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