eat pray love

Here I am sitting in an office, in the same building I was in 9 years ago…almost to the day. Its an old office in an old building, surrounded the hustle and bustle of the city. I’m sitting in a chair by the window with the bright sun beaming in to these dusty surroundings, staring at the view of sky scrapers and flashy billboards, and remembering the last time I was here. It was the day that I picked up my wedding ring. Now I’m here again to have it, as well as all of the other tokens of my marriage appraised.

I have made the decision to sell them all. Its a hard decision and one that I am not sure if I will be able to follow through with. Every time I look at them I feel a lump in my throat. But if my marriage is over what does it matter if the material tokens are gone with it.

I sit here and think, if someone had told me 9 years ago that I would be here today trying to sell them, I would have told them they were out of there mind, and that my marriage was going to be the one lasts forever. But things don’t always work out the way we plan, and that is something that we must be willing to accept in order to live a fulfilling life. And that is exactly why I am here today. And I should also mention that here is a purpose here.

I have always wanted to travel. Since I was a child I remember looking at images of the most exotic places and thinking to myself “I can’t wait until I am old enough to go there”. And when my marriage was on its last thread, I remember watching Eat Pray Love and thinking to myself “if I had to do it, I would do it just like that!” So here I am, waiting for the number that will determine my own Eat Pray Love adventure.

Where will I go? What places will I see? Who will I meet along the way? These are the questions that are keeping my mind from focusing on that damn lump in my throat, and looking forward to what will be the most exciting journey thus far in my life. Surely I won’t have enough to disappear for a year like our good friend Julia. But I will have enough to put a couple of pins on the world map, and store a couple of roughed up versions of “The Lonely Planet” of the places I have visited. I should mention that a loving friend and huge source of inspiration for me, turned me on to those books last night when we sifted through the travel section of the book store, taking note of all the places I want to see in the world, and reminding me that I am doing this for me, and only me. In fact, for as long as I can remember…she is the only one who has ever asked me the question…”What is it that YOU want?” If only she knew how grateful I was to have her and for asking me that question. Note to self…tell her!

Oh wait…moment of truth! BRB

Okay so not quite as much as I had hoped for but still enough to make a fabulous trip out of. I’m just grateful that I can. Next step is to actually sell it, which may take a while. But that doesn’t mean I can’t plan during the process. After all, the most important part of achieving any goal in life, is to live as though you have already achieved it, and to be thankful for all the things that helped you get there along the way!

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About the writer

So yes, you've guessed it...I am in the process of getting divorced. Now surely I've had many challenges along the way, but I can honestly say that it has truly been the most eye opening experience of my life. Although it's never what you plan or hope for and it can be truly devastating when you realize it's happening, but it can also have a silver lining if you look for it...once you get through the guilt, anger, self-loathing, several pints of Haagen Dazs and a crate or two of wine of course. My divorce not only got me out of a very unhealthy relationship, but it also opened the door for me to reshape my entire life. So after a year of loafing, I am getting my ass off my couch and into gear to transform everything that I know has not been doing me any justice in my life. I went from trying to be the perfect daughter to trying to be the perfect wife, constantly accepting that which was imposed on me and living my life on auto pilot. Well, all that is about to change. 2012 is finally over and the new year is here, and this will be the year that I change my life and make it what I want it to be. This blog will document my experiences and hopefully help other men and women in the same boat to find some sort of inspiration. I would also like to hear from those of you who have some tips, advice or inspiring stories of your own to share. For many of us, just knowing that there are others who have lived to tell their stories with somewhat of a happy ending, is inspiration enough. Happy New Year!!!

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