get too close to the flame

“Get too close to the flame!” This is my favorite line from the song that I posted the other day (and yes I’ve been listening to it ever since, dancing to it in my living room and singing it in my car). Those six little words say so much. “The flame” is everything in life that we avoid getting close to in fear of getting burned. Many of us have a preconceived notion that to avoid getting burned is the path to a happy life. But the reality is if we are living in fear…we are simply not living!

There is no avoiding pain. Pain is a natural part of life as is pleasure, and there is always equal amounts of both no matter what we choose. This is the universal balance, and it is as real as the law of gravity. Each choice we make will bring equal amounts of happiness and sadness, pain and pleasure. This alone should take the fear out of any choice. The only thing we can do to ensure our happiness is to choose according to what our heart wants. Not the mind and not your emotions, but the heart. The heart is always in alignment with your true passions. The mind is riddled with ideologies and obligations that may not necessarily be serving you. Emotions on the other hand are impulsive and reckless, and they are poisoned with fear and infatuation. But the heart is always true and it will never steer you down the wrong path. And when you follow your heart no matter how impossible it might seem, you will never have regrets. Even if you fail, somehow it will serve you and you’ll feel better know that you tried rather than spending the rest of your life wondering “what if”.

So go ahead! Live life large! Forget everything that society has told you that you should and should not do, and forget all the rules that you have placed upon yourself as the formula to what leads to a happy life. These are only limiting you. There is no formula. It’s all excrement. If everything in your life is balanced and you choose according to your heart you simply can’t go wrong. Simply embrace the chaos that is life with courage and an open heart. Stop shying away from the challenges that are there to teach you and help you grow. Get close to the flame and don’t be afraid to feel the heat. Touch it until your skin scorches and your pulse raises like wild horses making it difficult to catch your breath and suddenly, you will know that you are alive.


About the writer

So yes, you've guessed it...I am in the process of getting divorced. Now surely I've had many challenges along the way, but I can honestly say that it has truly been the most eye opening experience of my life. Although it's never what you plan or hope for and it can be truly devastating when you realize it's happening, but it can also have a silver lining if you look for it...once you get through the guilt, anger, self-loathing, several pints of Haagen Dazs and a crate or two of wine of course. My divorce not only got me out of a very unhealthy relationship, but it also opened the door for me to reshape my entire life. So after a year of loafing, I am getting my ass off my couch and into gear to transform everything that I know has not been doing me any justice in my life. I went from trying to be the perfect daughter to trying to be the perfect wife, constantly accepting that which was imposed on me and living my life on auto pilot. Well, all that is about to change. 2012 is finally over and the new year is here, and this will be the year that I change my life and make it what I want it to be. This blog will document my experiences and hopefully help other men and women in the same boat to find some sort of inspiration. I would also like to hear from those of you who have some tips, advice or inspiring stories of your own to share. For many of us, just knowing that there are others who have lived to tell their stories with somewhat of a happy ending, is inspiration enough. Happy New Year!!!

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