nothing short of self-mutilation

Yesterday, as I got home and was waiting for an elevator, I saw a woman who had such a profound impact on me I could not wait to walk in the door and write about it. We never spoke, or even made eye contact. But the impression that she made on me will stay with me for a while, as will the sadness to know that there are women out there that feel so horrible about themselves that they will literally mutilate their biological temple in the name of beauty.

There was not an inch on this woman that wasn’t chiselled, tucked, implanted or injected. What was probably once a beautiful woman is now just a physical montage of botched surgeries, performed intentionally to create something that was never real to begin with. My heart literally broke when I saw her. How insecure she must feel to go to these lengths to feel good about herself. And yet the reality is that she probably still feels insecure, even after numerous painful and invasive surgeries, because if you can’t love who you are on the inside, you will never be able to appreciate what is on the outside.

No one is prefect. And trying to create the perception that you are will only lead to more and more insecurities. In many ways it becomes an addiction that can never be satisfied. At the end of the day if, something is really bothering you about your appearance, there is nothing wrong with a little nip here, and a little tuck there. But if your goal is create an entirely new version of yourself that even your own mother would not recognize, than no amount of nipping and tucking is going to make you feel better.

I urge women everywhere to start loving themselves, inside and out. Feel the light that is within you and use it to discover your true essence, your true beauty. Do the things you enjoy and that make you feel good in a healthy way. Perhaps even find new things. Take classes, read a good book, take a walk in a park, get a pet…anything to get you away from spending your time obsessing over the reflection in the mirror staring back at you and wishing it were different. You are all beautiful. Start loving and appreciating who you are on the inside, so that you can love and appreciate who you are on the outside. Find the beauty that is within you and celebrate it. And always remember that the beauty that radiates from within is far more powerful than any scalpel.

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About the writer

So yes, you've guessed it...I am in the process of getting divorced. Now surely I've had many challenges along the way, but I can honestly say that it has truly been the most eye opening experience of my life. Although it's never what you plan or hope for and it can be truly devastating when you realize it's happening, but it can also have a silver lining if you look for it...once you get through the guilt, anger, self-loathing, several pints of Haagen Dazs and a crate or two of wine of course. My divorce not only got me out of a very unhealthy relationship, but it also opened the door for me to reshape my entire life. So after a year of loafing, I am getting my ass off my couch and into gear to transform everything that I know has not been doing me any justice in my life. I went from trying to be the perfect daughter to trying to be the perfect wife, constantly accepting that which was imposed on me and living my life on auto pilot. Well, all that is about to change. 2012 is finally over and the new year is here, and this will be the year that I change my life and make it what I want it to be. This blog will document my experiences and hopefully help other men and women in the same boat to find some sort of inspiration. I would also like to hear from those of you who have some tips, advice or inspiring stories of your own to share. For many of us, just knowing that there are others who have lived to tell their stories with somewhat of a happy ending, is inspiration enough. Happy New Year!!!

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