happy days

Wow! I knew I had been away for a while but I did not realize for how long until I logged in today.  Shame on me!! Well, all I can say is that it’s definitely been a challenging few months, a roller coaster of way ups and way downs if you will. But the dust is finally beginning to settle and I am finally getting some clarity from the fog that I have been living in for so long.

However, if I had the opportunity to do it all, all over again I totally would!! I have learned so much in the last few months that I can’t help but feel so grateful and so blessed. It was worth all the headaches, the tears, and the copious amounts of wine and ice cream.

I wish I could share it all but that would be a book…maybe it will 🙂 So what I am going to share with you right now is a few tips on how you can, RIGHT NOW start living a happier more fulfilling life. No drastic change is required, just an openness to try a few new things. These are so basic, and I know you’ve probably heard them all before.  But I am here to tell you that they really do work!!! So here goes:

  1. Spend time in silence and meditation: I strongly urge everyone to try this!!  There are so many tools for simple meditations online that can help guide you, or take a class if you can.  And when ever you can, spend time alone with yourself in silence.  We all have busy lives, I know.  But the benefits I got from spending only three days in silence and mediation was life changing.  My three days of silence was spent reading, reflecting, journaling and spending time in nature.  After those three days I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.  But more importantly, for the first time ever, I heard my inner voice. The presence of this voice can be the single most powerful tool that have on the journey that is life, and I urge all of you to do what you can to connect with it.  Without my inner voice, I would never have learned the lessons I did in the last couple of months. In fact. I probably would have continued to make the same mistakes in the future, leading to more headaches, tears, wine and ice cream. Not to mention my challenges could have been a whole lot worse without my own personal navigation system.
  2. Do more of the little things that lift your spirits: This can be anything.  If you’re having a hard time thinking about something you can do, please refer back to my post what made you smile when you were 10? This can be anything from watching your favorite movie, reading a good book, spending time in nature, spending time with family and friends, playing or cuddling up with your pet, riding a bike, literally anything!!! The sky is the limit.  The point is that it must be positive.  For me it has always been and will always be music and dance.  I try to listen to it as much as possible and I have a few key feel good songs that I like to listen to on a bad day. I find that when I am listening to music and dancing, even if it’s just humming a song in my head while tapping my feet, not only do I feel better, but I attract more positive things and people into my life.  I have even witnessed on numerous occasions while stopped at a traffic light in my car, people standing on the street corner starting to sway and dance to the music in my car. This could just mean that I have really good taste in music, but I think that it is proof that happiness is contagious and that what we put out into the universe, the universe sends back to us.
  3. Apply the  80/20 rule to all areas of life if you can: This applies to everything from food, exercise, to entertainment, to work, to people!  Try and surround yourself with as much positive as possible in as may areas as possible.  Weed out what you can of the things that are holding you back and incorporate more of the ‘good for you things’.  If there are relationships that are a negative influence in your life, put some distance between you and them or wish them a great life and move on! It sounds harsh but the again so is subjecting yourself to negativity for the sake of company or not hurting someone else’s feelings.  If your stuck with them, do what you can to spend more time with people who uplift you to bring some balance into your surroundings.  Same applies to work. If you can’t make a drastic career change on a whim, as most of us can’t, try and incorporate some more fulfilling things and/or tasks into your work day. A friend of mine who works as an administrator and absolutely detests her job but loves to plan parties, put her hand up to be the resident event planner at her work.  She still hates her job, but at least she has some responsibilities to look forward to.
  4. Sleep!!!!: I can’t stress this enough, we are all more susceptible to being miserable a-holes when we don’t sleep.  I for one am I horrible sleeper.  But I try to do what I can to make some improvements.  Some things that have worked for me are dimming the lights an hour before bed and having some tea or a hot bath, anything to bring the body down to it’s natural sleeping temperature. And although I admit I am the worst at sticking to an exercise plan, exercise really does help.
  5. Gratitude:  The last but probably the most important is gratitude. We all have things we can be grateful for, whether it’s the people that we love or the little things that make our day better. Even in difficult times we can choose to be grateful for the things and people that are there supporting us during these times, or for the lessons that we take away from the challenges to do it better the next time. I strongly urge all of you to start a gratitude journal and every night write down a minimum of three things that you are grateful for. If you’re really feeling inspired to do this, someone brilliant started a challenge called 100 Happy Days. The challenge requires that you take a photo each day of one thing that you are grateful for and share it. You can share through email or you can post it to the social media of your choice. And you guessed it, you have to do it for 100 days!  It may seem like a lot but come on, you’re on a blog site right now aren’t you?!?!

That’s it! I told you it’s not rocket science.  Now I’m not saying that doing any or all of these things will not guarantee that your happy all the time.  You will have bad days and good days, as we all do.  And when you do have a bad day it’s okay too.  It is counter productive to beat yourself up for singing the blues, just try not to make a greatest hits album out of it!  Acknowledge that you are sad and why, and then try and let some light in when and how you can. Thus making each day just a little bit better 🙂

Happy days to all!!!


About the writer

So yes, you've guessed it...I am in the process of getting divorced. Now surely I've had many challenges along the way, but I can honestly say that it has truly been the most eye opening experience of my life. Although it's never what you plan or hope for and it can be truly devastating when you realize it's happening, but it can also have a silver lining if you look for it...once you get through the guilt, anger, self-loathing, several pints of Haagen Dazs and a crate or two of wine of course. My divorce not only got me out of a very unhealthy relationship, but it also opened the door for me to reshape my entire life. So after a year of loafing, I am getting my ass off my couch and into gear to transform everything that I know has not been doing me any justice in my life. I went from trying to be the perfect daughter to trying to be the perfect wife, constantly accepting that which was imposed on me and living my life on auto pilot. Well, all that is about to change. 2012 is finally over and the new year is here, and this will be the year that I change my life and make it what I want it to be. This blog will document my experiences and hopefully help other men and women in the same boat to find some sort of inspiration. I would also like to hear from those of you who have some tips, advice or inspiring stories of your own to share. For many of us, just knowing that there are others who have lived to tell their stories with somewhat of a happy ending, is inspiration enough. Happy New Year!!!

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